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Brian E. Conklin

Speak Life: Making Your Point Without Tearing Others Down

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Speak Life: Making Your Point Without Tearing Others Down
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Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

“Make your point or share your message without pointing out anything negative about those who may disagree with you.”

I posted that challenge on Facebook recently, and it sparked a great deal of thoughtful response. It reminded me how deeply people long for meaningful conversation without division and how important it is to speak life into our interactions. So, I want to unpack that challenge further—and explore how we, as followers of Jesus, can communicate truth with grace, conviction with compassion, and stand firm in our faith without tearing others down.

Truth Doesn’t Need a Target

It’s tempting, especially in our polarized world, to define what we believe by first discrediting what someone else believes. But biblical truth doesn’t need an enemy to stand strong, especially when we choose to speak life into situations.

The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:15 that we are to “speak the truth in love.” That’s more than a tone of voice—it’s a heart posture. When our goal is to win arguments instead of build bridges, we stray from the heart of the Gospel.

Jesus didn’t come to shame the lost but to save them (John 3:17). When we present truth without attacking or belittling others, we leave room for the Holy Spirit to do what only He can—transform hearts.

Respect Is the Starting Point for Peace

Romans 12:18 urges, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” When we actively choose to speak life, this peace becomes apparent in our interactions.

Peace doesn’t require total agreement. It requires mutual respect. That means not mocking opposing views, not assuming the worst about others, and not letting frustration turn into hostility.

When we choose to share our message clearly and passionately—without violating someone else’s dignity—we don’t weaken our message. We strengthen it, showing what Christlike love looks like in action. This is how we speak life and truth simultaneously.

Understanding Doesn’t Require Agreement

Understanding someone doesn’t mean we agree with them. It means we care enough to listen and speak life into their circumstances.

Proverbs 18:13 warns, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” We must resist the urge to respond before we truly hear. By listening to people’s experiences, convictions, and concerns, we foster relationship—and it’s often through relationship that God opens the door to transformation.

Let’s be the kind of people who model empathy without compromise and compassion without confusion.

Freedom and Peace Can—and Must—Coexist

In today’s cultural climate, it can feel like we must choose between freedom and societal peace. But scripture shows us they’re meant to walk hand in hand, much like how we aim to speak life into our freedom.

Galatians 5:13 says, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

God-given freedom is not about insisting on our way; it’s about using our liberty to serve others. When we exercise freedom with humility, we cultivate peace.

Freedom without peace leads to chaos. Peace without freedom leads to control. But when both are guided by love, truth, and grace, we build something stronger—a just and thriving society.

Let’s Be Different

We live in a time when everyone wants to be heard, but few want to listen. Let’s break that trend by choosing to speak life into our words.

Let’s speak boldly without belittling.
Let’s listen deeply without losing ourselves.
Let’s value freedom without forsaking peace.

And let’s remember—every post, every comment, and every conversation is an opportunity to reflect Jesus and to speak life.

So I challenge you again:
Make your point. Share your message. But do it in a way that lifts others up—even those who may never agree with you.

Because our goal isn’t just to win the argument.
Our goal is to reflect Jesus.

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